The thing about becoming a mom… is that you never know all the emotions you’ll have until the tears hit your cheek so hard and you’re like FUCK why am I crying… AGAIN? This morning my son had his first day at a BIG BOY daycare (This is still an at home daycare provider but it’s ran more like a school environment and it has more children than the kind of care he was going to for the first 2 years of his life). My son turned 2 yesterday and I swear he’s just growing and developing so quickly that my emotions can’t keep up. First you give birth… you cry… then they successfully latch on and you can breastfeed… you cry… then you have to leave him to go back to work… you cry some more… he’ll have his first fall, his first girlfriend, his first break ups, his first arguments… man… I hope my tear ducts are ready for all these milestones and events; if I didn’t tell myself out loud this morning… Kalilah… chuck that shit up my G… you cannot mess up your makeup… I would have had tear streaks running down all down my cheeks and smudged onto my crisp white polo. It’s just so may unknown emotions… I know that this is new to me as a new mom and it’s all an amazing feeling… but I wish I can bottle these great emotions and just keep them forever. Every time you turn around they are doing something new… and you may associate it to your childhood, or something you remembered… and it just brings up all these unknown emotions… that you wouldn’t think you would have. Like packing his lunch for daycare and remembering my grandmother packing my lunch everyday all the way till my senior year of high school or writing his name on EVERYTHING in his backpack. I guess that’s the amazing part about going through this journey of mommyhood… you get to experience all these great emotions, moment after moment, over and over and over again; developing this unforgettable bond with this little person that you created. It’s an amazing feeling… it’s just those unknown sentimental moments that sneak up on you and say GOT EM! I had one of those this morning!

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