I was in the locker room at the gym after a killer workout and I felt so great about myself… until I saw her round, perfect, very perky breast. At that moment, my whole body just shut down and I felt defeated. I instantly had a feeling of grave depression… what happened to mine [perky breast]? Where did they go?
I started to day dream of my young tenderoni days when I went braless; when I had the option of bra or no bra. I never had really big breast growing up, but they weren’t small either. My chest was proportionally just the right size for my body. I didn’t develop too early but I still remember the day I got my first training bra and I was through the roof! I think I was going into junior high from 4th-5th grade and it was senior day or a class trip and I was comparing my chest size with the other girls on the school bus and we were all gleaming with pride as we were all moving up to the level of a brassiere. I remember thinking this was such a huge deal going from those thin cut Haines bras to an actual training bra! Go me! I proudly showing them the ruffles and how my bra clasp and closed in the back. I even showed off be pretty flowered patterns and the structure and wiring in my “bra”. Even the term rolled off my tongue. “I’m moving into a bra now”. Through the years, i was a B/C cup as my body frame remained sleek and slender. Throughout college I began eating all the great cafeteria foods and I began to really coming into womanhood and I steadily remained at a 36C. Then pregnancy happened, the weight gain naturally accompanied my pregnancy and my dreams were shattered of ever going braless again (unless I opt for surgery). During my pregnancy I went to target to get a new bra and I remember needing a 40D/DD; I flatlined.
Post pregnancy I breastfed for 2+ years and after losing 65lb I am pleased to be back down to a 36C/D. Unfortunately with the joys of breastfeeding, I sacrificed my breast in the process. My once perky breast are now raisins and a bit saggy :(. I had no idea that the baby sucks the life (literally) out of your breast when they breastfeed and the aftermath is daunting.
Overall I am fine with it, what can you do right? As national breastfeeding week comes to a close, I am happy for my accomplishment of exclusively breastfeeding my son, but did my breast have to be the sacrifice? Couldn’t they just take my leg or something? Lol I kid! So as I snapped out of my hypnosis while I awkwardly stared at the 20-something year old with the perky boobs at the gym, I couldn’t help but think… Baby girl, don’t worry, have fun with them as long as you can! Gravity, old age, and breastfeeding is right around the corner waiting to take your perky breast!
To be young again, with perky, perfectly round breast. RIP