As the headlines hit our phones with notifications of a “senseless shooting” in Lexington, KY, as per usual, I clicked on the link to see who, what, and why. This time, unfortunately, the victim was 15-year old Trinity, the daughter of Olympic track star, Tyson Gay. Like most, my heart aches when I see young, innocent people lose their lives, especially to gun violence; it infuriates me. What scares me the most is being a parent in this situation. She was 15 years old and though it was 4am, it seems like she was in a restaurant with friends and unfortunately got caught in cross fire between two crews. I think about when I was 15. I was in some dangerous situations, growing up in New York City in the early 2000’s when Bloods and Crip gangs were running rampant through the streets. When I think back, so many things could have happened to me. It makes me think, as parents, though we can try to restrict our children from doing certain things, and going out and being at certain places, this seems very innocent; kids hanging out and then a place gets shot up, now a parent has lost their baby. I can’t imagine what Tyson Gay and his family is going through. This story resonated because I know as parents, we all want to protect our children, but it’s only so much we can do to truly protect them. Being a parent is no easy job, but I am not looking forward to those nights of my teenage son being out socializing with friends. These days the streets are just so cold and people hold no value on other’s lives. A young girl is now deceased and her parents are left to mourn her death. I pray gun violence stops and no other parent has to go through this.
I was in the Vegas airport trying to choose a gift to bring back for my 8-year-old before I boarded my 6:40a flight on no sleep, no breakfast and functioning on nothing but Hennessy and Coke when I came across a cute little pink slot machine/piggy bank that dispensed real money when you hit jackpot. My dear, sweet, childless friend, who I just spent the weekend partying with for her bachelorette party saw me with the slot machine, gave me stank face and said, “Why would you encourage and promote gambling to your child?” My response, “Have you BEEN to Chuck E. Cheese’s? What do you think that is?” For the sake of not looking like a piece of sh— hung over (still tipsy) parent, who was already feeling guilty about pumping and dumping for last three days and devastated that the time away from my family was coming to an end— I settled on a non-dishwasher-safe $17 plastic cup that read, “Someone who loves me went to Las Vegas and bought me this cup.”
Not long ago the world lost its mind over what is probably the best snapback in history, Teyana Taylor’s amazing post baby bod in Kanye West’s Fade video. The songstress flaunted her sexy silhouette just 6 days after giving birth to her baby girl on Instagram and has just kept hurting our feelings ever since!
Another fan fave, Growing Up Hip Hop, star and fashionista Angela Simmons flaunted her sleek physique in the gym just 13 days after having her first child. Her flat tummy could not be ignored as she told the world she was finally approved for light workouts. Anyone that follows Angela knows she’s an avid workout enthusiast that’s puts in a ton of work for her slim thick shape.
Legally, I’ve been able to vote since I was 24, the age I became a US citizen. I take this right to vote seriously. This election cycle has been the craziest display of “politics” I’ve ever seen. CNN is on most days in my house and my husband and I try to stay informed. What’s been of most interest to me is the support of Christian leaders in favor of Donald Trump.
Quite frankly, I don’t get it! When Donald Trump insults women, curses at rallies, uses derogatory terms, refers to himself as the greatest in more ways than one, and lauds greed, among so many other things (Read more) I cannot in good conscious- as a good Christian- vote for this man. He is opposite to all my beliefs and values. To be more explicit, Trump is anti-Christ. Every account of Jesus’ life illustrated inclusion, helping others and loving your neighbors. Everything Donald Trump says is divisive and self-centered. Like Dr. Charles Dunn, Professor Emeritus, Regent University, stated “ The Christian Faith should not be looked upon as an interest group.”
The viral video of a Black couple getting engaged and married in the same day is the most beautiful and real expression of love I’ve seen in a while. My first reaction was “Wow, how sweet.” That was from one short clip. Then, my research instincts kicked in to search on Instagram the hash tag and watch ALL the clips, back to back. I saw a man plan and execute the boldest expression of his love for his woman. I loved how she worshiped her God – caught the Holy Ghost even, shouted and stopped to give God thanks that the man she wanted to marry for two years was finally showing her how much he loved and wanted her.
There is much controversy surrounding the debate of a stay at home mom versus a mother that works. Which one is better for the child?
In my opinion neither trumps the other. I am however biased to one scenario more Than the next.
The life of a mother that works outside the home is very different than a mom who stays at home although both women’s priority are her children. The working mom spends most of her day out of the home making sure financially that her offspring is taken care. She also lends her emotional support and live as much as she can without physically being there. A stay at home mother is always there she sees it all she is able to give more of herself simply because her time is spent within the home. She has more time to to talk to the children she has more time to teach the children and she also gives them an indepth look into who she is as a person. A working mom strives to do these same things and she does in some ways it’s just that she has less time to do those same things which in turn can take away from what her children experience through her and with her. The working mom has many advantages if you can call it that. She has more financial freedom to support her children and her household, while a stay at home mom might not have those same freedoms. I think that most women would choose to be at home with their children if they could. But the way society is set up and the dynamics of her family structure she is forced to tak on the role of her husband and help provide. In turn who raises the children. Is the television their teachers or is it the internet but whoever raises her children in her absence. Is who wins a hand in their future. Though stay at home mothers may lack financial freedom at least she is given a chance to be present. Time is the one thing we can’t get back. It is expensive gift. Both the working mother and the stay at home mom have the same intentions and priorities when it comes to their kids..but both execute those intentions differently because of their circumstances.
In wake of famed ATL Rapper Shawty Lo’s passing (RIP), as sad as death is, I couldn’t help but wonder about his 11 children by 9 mothers that he leaves behind. Now the reason I bring up the kids and their mothers is this.. how much is too much?
When I was single and playing the field, finding men in my age bracket who didn’t have kids was hard. At least for me, I should say. I love kids and kids never was a deal breaker for me depending on how much children he had. When I was a little tenderoni, men with children was NOT for me. I avoided them like the plague. Until I met a man who had three and that mindset went out the door. Though it was only two mothers I had to deal with, I can’t help but wonder if I could deal with 9. We all know how some women can be, whether she hates her child/ren father, she still wants him or she just wants to make his life and the woman or women after her lives a living hell.
As the summer come to an end and as kiddies get back to school, its time for us to indulge in some fun indoors activities. As the weather begins to transition, what are some fun activities you recommend?
I never thought about mini baby bowling. My soror and mommy friend celebrated her son’s birthday at a kiddie bowling alley and I LOVED IT. The kids had a blast. I was a little worried about the heavy balls, but they seem to really enjoy it and got the hang of it. It was the cutest thing alive but it was something out the norm and a great idea for kids around 2+.
I luh God, my husband and my baby girl; in that order. There is no questioning my love for all three. My world is God and Family. Sometimes, though, it can be challenging to juggle my responsibilities as a wife, mother, church leader and my full time job. Every morning I get up at 6am to get my daughter and husband ready to get out the door by 7:15am then get myself dressed to be at the bus stop at 7:50am to get to work by 8:30am. Wednesday night service, Friday night Youth Fellowship, some Saturday events and church on Sunday. It can be a lot sometimes. And with all that, I have to find time to prioritize my relationship with God; prayer and bible study. After all, I know my awesome marriage and beautiful daughter would not exist without God’s favor.
My marriage is 6 years strong. Through the years of friendship, dating and marriage, I’ve learned what the bible describes as “becoming one.” Mark 10:8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh (NIV). It’s a consistent process to be on the same page while life throws its challenges at you. Divorce rates are high- even in the “Church.” By God’s grace, I will not be one of them. To ensure this, my guiding principles are to put God first and to guard my marriage. I am hyper sensitive to anything that can take away from quality time and connection with my husband. We both support each other’s individual endeavors but my first ministry is to my family and to have our life be an example of God’s love.
Likewise, as a mother, I’ve been blessed with the responsibility to love and train another generation. Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from Him (Psalm 127:3, NLT). Having children was never a guarantee but once we decided to try we couldn’t imagine life without our daughter. Being a parent has added a whole new dimension to understanding how God loves us and the capacity we have to love others. In addition, having a child changes everything! Another little life (mind, body and soul) to take care of on top of all my other responsibilities. As my best friend once told me “Life is a constant game of balancing and re-balancing.” But, with Prayer and a grateful heart I’m able to conquer it all.
Kajette lives in Rhode Island with her husband Joe and toddler daughter Lydia. A self-professed “Church Girl” Pentecostal Christian. She’s and art historian and native New Yorker. She loves trap gospel music, art and her husband’s cooking.
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