mom

Stay at home vs Working mom- War of the MOMS!

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There is much controversy surrounding the debate of a stay at home mom versus a mother that works. Which one is better for the child?

In my opinion neither trumps the other. I am however biased to one scenario more Than the next.

The life of a mother that works outside the home is very different than a mom who stays at home although both women’s priority are her children. The working mom spends most of her day out of the home making sure financially that her offspring is taken care. She also lends her emotional support and live as much as she can without physically being there. A stay at home mother is always there she sees it all she is able to give more of herself simply because her time is spent within the home. She has more time to to talk to the children she has more time to teach the children and she also gives them an indepth look into who she is as a person. A working mom strives to do these same things and she does in some ways it’s just that she has less time to do those same things which in turn can take away from what her children experience through her and with her. The working mom has many advantages if you can call it that. She has more financial freedom to support her children and her household, while a stay at home mom might not have those same freedoms. I think that most women would choose to be at home with their children if they could. But the way society is set up and the dynamics of her family structure she is forced to tak on the role of her husband and help provide. In turn who raises the children. Is the television their teachers or is it the internet but whoever raises her children in her absence. Is who wins a hand in their future. Though stay at home mothers may lack financial freedom at least she is given a chance to be present. Time is the one thing we can’t get back. It is expensive gift. Both the working mother and the stay at home mom have the same intentions and priorities when it comes to their kids..but both execute those intentions differently because of their circumstances.

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Love, Marriage and Motherhood: A Church Girl’s Perspective

I luh God, my husband and my baby girl; in that order. There is no questioning my love for all three. My world is God and Family. Sometimes, though, it can be challenging to juggle my responsibilities as a wife, mother, church leader and my full time job. Every morning I get up at 6am to get my daughter and husband ready to get out the door by 7:15am then get myself dressed to be at the bus stop at 7:50am to get to work by 8:30am. Wednesday night service, Friday night Youth Fellowship, some Saturday events and church on Sunday. It can be a lot sometimes. And with all that, I have to find time to prioritize my relationship with God; prayer and bible study. After all, I know my awesome marriage and beautiful daughter would not exist without God’s favor.
My marriage is 6 years strong. Through the years of friendship, dating and marriage, I’ve learned what the bible describes as “becoming one.” Mark 10:8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh (NIV). It’s a consistent process to be on the same page while life throws its challenges at you. Divorce rates are high- even in the “Church.” By God’s grace, I will not be one of them. To ensure this, my guiding principles are to put God first and to guard my marriage. I am hyper sensitive to anything that can take away from quality time and connection with my husband. We both support each other’s individual endeavors but my first ministry is to my family and to have our life be an example of God’s love.
Likewise, as a mother, I’ve been blessed with the responsibility to love and train another generation. Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from Him (Psalm 127:3, NLT). Having children was never a guarantee but once we decided to try we couldn’t imagine life without our daughter. Being a parent has added a whole new dimension to understanding how God loves us and the capacity we have to love others. In addition, having a child changes everything! Another little life (mind, body and soul) to take care of on top of all my other responsibilities. As my best friend once told me “Life is a constant game of balancing and re-balancing.” But, with Prayer and a grateful heart I’m able to conquer it all.
Kajette lives in Rhode Island with her husband Joe and toddler daughter Lydia. A self-professed “Church Girl” Pentecostal Christian. She’s and art historian and native New Yorker. She loves trap gospel music, art and her husband’s cooking.

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Enough is Enough. Death to the pampers Gods.

I spend roughly $50 a month on diapers and wipes; that’s $600 a year and almost $2,000 in the 3 years my son has been alive. AINT NO BODY GOT TIME for this diaper shit… at all.

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As I bought a pack of pull-ups last week, I SAID ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I told myself after this pack, NO MORE. I am a full time entrepreneur and extremely busy, but my pockets can longer sustain this “diaper life”. I remember at my baby shower someone bought a size 5 pamper and I said, “the hell my baby will not be still in pampers at this age….” Yup, I’m rolling my eyes too, it’s time. Not because society says its time, but because my wallet says its time. Plus I think, finally, my son is truly ready. Remember a couple months ago when I first introduced potty training and I told you guys about my experience. Yip, that time. Ya’ll remember the pic of real housewives, Kandi Burrus attempting (and joking I hope) to potty train her four month old son training-pngTHAT NEEDED TO BE ME. I should have started him on the potty a long time ago. We’ve had two weeks strong where he is actually going and telling me every time he has to go. We’ve only had one mishap where he had to go and we were at the supermarket and we could not use the restroom. Here are some tips I recommend to help these little critters train on the potty.

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RIP to my perfect breast- National Breastfeeding Week

I was in the locker room at the gym after a killer workout and I felt so great about myself… until I saw her round, perfect, very perky breast. At that moment, my whole body just shut down and I felt defeated. I instantly had a feeling of grave depression… what happened to mine [perky breast]? Where did they go?

I started to day dream of my young tenderoni days when I went braless; when I had the option of bra or no bra. I never had really big breast growing up, but they weren’t small either. My chest was proportionally just the right size for my body. I didn’t develop too early but I still remember the day I got my first training bra and I was through the roof! I think I was going into junior high from 4th-5th grade and it was senior day or a class trip and I was comparing my chest size with the other girls on the school bus and we were all gleaming with pride as we were all moving up to the level of a brassiere. I remember thinking this was such a huge deal going from those thin cut Haines bras to an actual training bra! Go me! I proudly showing them the ruffles and how my bra clasp and closed in the back. I even showed off be pretty flowered patterns and the structure and wiring in my “bra”. Even the term rolled off my tongue. “I’m moving into a bra now”. Through the years, i was a B/C cup as my body frame remained sleek and slender. Throughout college I began eating all the great cafeteria foods and I began to really coming into womanhood and I steadily remained at a 36C. Then pregnancy happened, the weight gain naturally accompanied my pregnancy and my dreams were shattered of ever going braless again (unless I opt for surgery). During my pregnancy I went to target to get a new bra and I remember needing a 40D/DD; I flatlined.

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Life without parole sentences for children

can-stock-photo_csp27253270Today’s one of those days where I want to be a fake journalist and write about the less mommy stuff (baby cutesy wootsey stuff) and write about the MOM stuff (raising a growing boy who will becoming a teenager whether I like it or not). Last night I was watching the discovery channel and it featured an old case (I caught it in the middle and I didn’t take notes because I had no idea this topic would still be at the forefront of my thoughts and I would be blogging about it today) and it featured a young African American man, now in his 20’s who has been incarcerated for about 12 years for a crime he committed when he was a juvenile. He was sentenced to life without parole and this was an appeals hearing to have the “without parole” portion removed off his sentence. From my understanding (I am no where near a lawyer or legal buff so please forgive me) he will never be eligible for parole and will more than likely die in prison.

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New York Baby Show 2016: Recap

IMG_1659Since having my first child  almost 3 years ago I have wanted to attend the New York Baby Show. This past weekend I was able to do just that! The New York Baby show is an annual event that pairs brands both large and small with moms, moms to be, dads, bloggers, photographers and the kiddies in one fun filled setting! It also offers seminars from expert speakers in the world of parenting and pregnancy!

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Online Deadly date

love-online-datingApril 8th, Ingrid Maree Lyne, 40, mom of 3 daughters was reported missing by her ex husband who was concerned when he went to drop off their children after his usual scheduled time with them. This was unlike her, and usually any mom for that matter to not be available when it was time for the kids to return home. Police found a saw, traces of blood and an empty box that once was filled with garbage bags.

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5 tips to help reduce chaos.

balance-beam-with-a-frame-300x240I once had my “dream job” in which I thought I loved so much until I felt like I was doing a lousy job in my professional life and in my personal life; i literally felt like I was drowning. I remember frantically calling my virtual therapist (the sweetest family therapist friend I met a couple years ago on a flight back to America from Jamaica) and she asked, how would you rate yourself as a mom? I responded, “A 4”. She then said in your current job, what grade from 1-10? I responded, “A 3”. To the average folk from the outside looking in, I am sure they would say, “NO WAY KALILAH, how is that at all possible?, you are probably being too hard on yourself. They may be right, but at that moment and even now, I felt terrible and I felt like I was going under water fast and I needed to find that balance.

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Brokenhearted mom

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This is the only place I can post stuff that he won’t see and I can have a dialect pertaining to whatever. So with that said.

I have been seeing and reading some of the ladies pre valentine day extravaganzas. I love to see when the significant other put time and thought into making you happy. Or just making you smile…… Now this also brings me sadness. I look in the mirror everyday, And I know I’m worth it. I want to be someone’s valentine or even that special someone. I’m not single and haven’t been for years. But I don’t feel like I’m special to anyone.
What sense does it make to be surrounded by people that like you, but don’t know you enough to love. While the person that knows you enough to love you act like they don’t like you….. – brokenhearted mom

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“I have a dream”- Martin Luther King Jr.

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“I still have a dream; deeply routed in the American dream”, is a quote from the famous “I have a dream” speech by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on August 28, 1963. This race relation speech is a staple of words that can be used as a measuring tool of sorts to gage in 2016 if we have advanced within our race war from the 60s to now. Unfortunately, things seem to have digressed oppose to getting better. As I watched “The View” today on my given day off to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr., it was reported in 2010, 76% of Americans felt as if race relations were becoming more equal in America and in 2016 only 34% found that statement to be true. How sad is it, that as time evolves, we as a people, American people, have reverted back to a slave mentality. Where did we go wrong? Why are things going backwards opposed to forward?

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